Helpful Tips

It is normal to feel overwhelmed with sadness, confusion, and even anger when you lose a beloved animal.  The goal isn’t to make those feelings go away or try to “get over” them.

Instead, there are some things you can do to help yourself move toward accepting the loss and embracing what will become your new routine in the days, weeks, and months to come.

  • Treat the loss of your animal like the loss of a person.  Studies show that animal grief can match the intensity of losing a human loved one, but society often fails to acknowledge or support this kind of loss.  Responses like “it was just an animal” can invalidate pain even further.  Your animal was a significant part of your life. You don’t have to pretend like nothing happened when they passed away.  Your grief is real, valid, and heavy.

  • Focus on survival in the beginning.  The first days after losing your animal will be the most emotionally charged, likely filled with tears, devastation, shock, and deep sadness.  Adjusting to life without your animal can be difficult, and normal activities of daily living might feel like climbing a mountain.  In these early days, focus on eating, sleeping, and getting out of bed.  If you take care of others, make sure they are safe and cared for.  If you can manage this - mission accomplished.  It’s okay to just survive for a little bit.  These days will get better with time.

  • Feel your emotions.  The best way to navigate your emotions during the grieving process is to acknowledge and feel them.  Pause, name the emotion, and let the feeling stay.  It might feel painful and distressing, but trying to make difficult emotions “go away” usually makes them stronger and more difficult to cope with down the road.  Let your emotions come and go, and take care of yourself when difficult moments inevitably arise.

  • Connect with someone who understands.  It can feel comforting and validating to connect with someone who understands the pain of losing a companion animal.  Lean on others for support during this difficult time.  If you don’t have anyone to turn to, click here to find support.

  • Do what feels right for your heart and your healing.  Everyone grieves differently and within reason, there is no right or wrong way to grieve.  Some are comforted by photos and videos in the beginning, for others, it’s too painful.  Some clean up the food bowls right away, others let them linger.  Some need space, some need company.  Acknowledge and honor your own ways of grieving.  If others have been impacted by the loss, have open conversations with them about their ways of grieving.  This will help you be there for each other in healthy, supportive ways.

  • When you’re ready, find new ways to connect with your animal.  While your relationship with your animal will be different after they’re gone, it doesn’t have to disappear completely.  Find new ways to connect.  Try journaling, writing letters to your animal, or writing down all of the special memories you shared.  Create a memorial or special spot for your animal, a stone in the garden or a picture on the wall.  Find ways to honor your animal by talking about them and keeping their memory alive.

  • Seek further support if the acute grief doesn’t ease over time.  If a period of time has passed and you’re still struggling with activities of daily living, or if the emotion is overwhelming to the point that it interferes with daily functioning, it might be time to reach out for more intensive support.  You can find a wide selection of grief counselors and pet bereavement specialists who can help you navigate the road to healing. Click here for more support.

  • If there is a child involved in the loss, you can find tips for helping children during the grieving process HERE.

For more helpful tips:

“Like a bird singing in the rain, let grateful memories survive in times of sorrow.”

-Robert Louis Stevenson